American Dreamer Dictionary

In May 2007, my friend Donnie Valencia came home and paid a visit to our office. His former office, almost a home for more than 31 years. We exchanged stories and pleasantries along with Verna. I almost forgot about this dictionary he jokingly asked last time he was here. It was originally intended for him but he suggested friends might get amused and as one author once said "The best joke is to tell the truth". It might not be the whole truth, but it comes very near to it. So, here it is, Relax, Seat and Enjoy (Or Annoyed).

Donnie,

Getting a U.S. visa is big deal to many Filipinos including employees of the national flag carrier “retired and active.. Even idiots claim to have a lot of class simply by getting this visa. I don't know why. Many went to the mainland and came back more stupid than when they left. You taught me many things and this serves as an overview of what to be done if and when I decided to apply for a visa (kung hindi ako manghinayang na mag-tuition sa pag-kuha ng visa) and if I don't chicken out in my filing for application. Based on the briefing you gave me, I documented it in my listed word meanings (my own, not copied from Webster) so if anything wrong comes out.. they are entirely my own. Nobody to blame. Ako lang. You are not responsible either. I might be the one who got confused. Anyway, many things I wrote might have actually happened to you, your friends and other Filipinos. As for me, panaginip pa lang. Libre naman eh.

If you find any mistakes in them, please make the necessary corrections and when you showed up again during you vacation here, give me the corrected version and I'll make a revised edition.

Thank you very much.

My Best,

GENE YU

AMERICAN DREAMER DICTIONARY

Amboy “ Long before the Fil-Ams came, there was this Amboys. I happen to be one.

When mother was raising me as a child, I was basically breast-fed. Bottle-feeding was unknown then. When working wives became the fad, bottle-feeding becomes popular. When my mother's milk was drying up, I was made to suck this Rice soup (sabaw ng sinaing na kung tawagin ay AM). Being fed this way, I became an accidental Amboy.

AW- I thought this is the American fast food chain. Until somebody corrected me. Mali daw ako. These are health workers in the United States , either legally or illegally that includes- nurses, caregivers, physical therapist. My colleague Billy gave this acronym new meaning AW, Ass Wiper. According to him, no matter how much you'repaid, in whatever currency you're paid, how much bonus you get if you're doing any of the above, you're still an Ass Wiper. An ass is an ass. Whether here in the Philippines , in the United States , or anywhere else. Isn't it Billy?

Alvarado “ What I had in mind before Frankie tells me his amazing story, I thought this is the character actor in most tagalong movies (local cinema), I've seen in my youth. A Sammy Davis or Jay Leno look-alike, he was a topnotch villain I wanted killed. I'm wrong after all. Frankie, the master de-facto liaison officer everybody knows in the office, found this street in downtown L.A. (according to him, how would I know) frequented by TNTs on the lookout for fake SSS, California ID and Driver's license cards. Talaga itong si Frankie, pambihira ang galing. Even in the United States , he's on the look-out for fake papers and credentials. I fervently hope and pray¦ our friendship is not fake. Or else, Oh my God (OMG).

America “The best place in the world" for the Americans.

Barkada “Some people mistook barkada for friendship. Very shallow. Most people who were taken for a ride thinks anybody who regularly give them drinks, foods and entertains them is their friend. Maybe.. If he/she is your friend, even without any or all of the above, then they are your friends, not barkada. Good luck.

Citizen “a person born in the USA by American parents (natural born) or of foreigners who happen to gave birth in the United States . If the foreigner happens to be a Filipino, the child is a Fil-Am. Eman Valencia , Donnie and Verna's son belongs to this group.

Consular Officer “ is an authorized person at the U.S. embassy who evaluates and assess the application for a visa and can either issue or deny it. Unfortunately, some people act, talk and discourage prospective applicants by saying "You will be denied.. you don't have money, you don't have any relative in U.S. , you don't have valuable property, you look live a prospective TNT, etc.. In short, they are saying.. "Hindi ka puwedeng mabigyan ng visa" "Di ka katulad ko. Ako lang (or Kami lang and puwedeng mabigyan ng visa, di ka puwede" This shit is all-knowing, too presumptuous. The consular officer himself will not tell you why you are being denied.

Fil-Am

One group of those amerasians who traces their roots in the Philippines . Fil-ams are of different class “Bic-Am, Vis-Am , Il -am, Tag-Am (Bicol-American, Visayan-American, Ilocano-American and Tagalog-American,. Many Fil-Ams who were nobody in the U.S. mainland suddenly find themselves a hot item or most-sought-after commodity here in the Philippines . Some of them turned to basketball, showbiz becomes instant celebrities and found themselves in the limelight. Many women including matronas fantasizes that these Fil-Ams might court, marry and bring them to the U.S. of A.

Friend “Anyone you can trust, depend, rely and turn your back to without getting stabbed in the back. He/She will not turn you in. Instead, they're whom you can turn to. If I have a friend who will turn me in or betray me, Mag-aalaga na lang ako ng aso. No dog has betrayed his master. A dog is not man's best friend for nothing.

Green Card “ A credit card or ATM card look-alike that is shown to friends or former workmates/officemates by immigrants who is a holder of this card that signifies their stay in the United States is legal. No immigration officer will run after them as far as their stay is concerned. To a natural-born American citizen, this card has no value; but to an immigrant, it's a big deal. Although its value is nominal compared to than of full citizenship, its value in the Philippines becomes greater than it actually is. As my former officemate Donnie Valencia says, its value here is purely "PAMPAYABANG". He added, "Magyayabang ka rin lang, Hustuhin mo na". I believe in what he says. Di tulad ng iba diyan, magyayabang din lang puro kuwento, wala naming kuwenta.. Yon pala nakikisabit lang. Free Loaders.

Invitation “ It is an offer by a friend, relative or acquaintance to come to the U.S. and stay with him at his house and says "Feel at Home”. There you can sleep, eat, drive his car and consider it your own. Some guests take it seriously. When they go home, nagbi-bitbit pa ng gamit ng host and sometimes nag-uumit pa.

Plenty of jobs in the U.S. “Some immigrants and even TNTs will keep on telling people to come to the U.S. once they get their visas. I can surely help you once you arrived there. Once their friends get their visas and were able to come to the U.S. , they'll tell them "You came too late. Huli ka na. Last week lang na-fill up ang bakanteng puwesto. Sayang. Dapat inagahan mo. Next time na lang baka ma-taymingan mo. Sayang talaga. Buwisit ka, sabi mo marami.. ngayon napunan na lahat.... sabay-sabay bang napunuan ang maraming pinagsasabi mo? O nambobola ka lang.. PWE.

Legal “Also called a legal permanent resident. He has the necessary and valid papers to show when confronted by immigration authorities. Sometimes, called L na L, or legal na legal. He can legally stay and roam around the United States and can expect to become a U.S. citizen after a certain period of time. Donnie Valencia and Alfonso Lin belongs to this group.

Naturalized American "A foreigner who earns an American citizenship by undergoing a process called naturalization. When one is a naturalized American, he is not natural-born. I used to think, a naturalized American is one born by natural or ordinary means, normal delivery. Not caesarian. Hindi pala. Now, I know.

Pakisama “fellowship. Getting along with people. Some people give this new meaning. Like, "Punta ka pala sa amerika,.. PAKISAMA mo naman ako. Wala akong matutuluyan don eh. May U.S. visa naman ako.

Petition “something done by a petitioner whereby he files with the appropriate U.S. government agency or office informing that office he wants to have his parents, siblings, spouse or sweetheart to stay with him, join him or bring them to the United States to be reunited. In the Philippines , a petition is something submitted to a government agency or office demanding or requesting the removal, dismissal or replacement of a government official they don't like.

Petitionee “ is a person designated by a petitioner he wants to be with in the United States . He can be a parent, sibling, spouse or sweetheart. In some instances, a petitionee is a prospective worker.

Petitioner “is a citizen or legal permanent resident of the United States who files a petition to an appropriate government office or agency informing that office he wants he parents, sibling, spouse or sweetheart to join him in the United States. A prospective employer can also be a petitioner. Sometimes, a petitioner is a paid citizen who do it for monetary consideration and/or other conditions.

Port of Entry “is a place in a foreign country usually an airport, seaport, or border where foreigners are admitted or rejected by immigration authorities. Travelers usually develop a sudden uncomfortable feeling that made them feel like urinating, bowel movement, perspiration, high blood pressure, heart palpitation. Some even collapse. A few are excellent liars and bluffers and were able to make it. Some say they will visit a relative but actually they don't have any.. sabit lang. Others say they are coming for a short visit. Short visit? Mga buwisit na ito ah.. Ayaw ng umuwi.. short visit lang? Iniiwan nga ang trabaho dito at pamilya... short visit pa? Sinungaling na mga ito ah. Baka Long Buwisit. Hi Hi Hi. Sometimes, it's also an "airport of denial", "airport of crying", or a "port of sadness". A 2 A ako ah. Hu Hu Hu.

Recto “A busy street in downtown Manila where credentials are easily procured for a measly sum of money. What takes an ordinary student four years to earn a college degree, anybody can get it in an hour or two. You can choose any course you want, the year you supposedly graduated, honors earned or received. To an untrained eye, he/she won't recognize the fake from the original. Sometimes, the fake looks more genuine and the original looks inferior.

Relative “are of two kinds. Affinity or Consanguinity. Relative by affinity are those we have account of marriage. For example: mother-in-law, father-in-law, all kinds of in-laws. Outlaws not included.. Mga wanted ito, may patong sa ulo. Relatives by consanguinity are those we have account of blood relationships. For example: Uncle, aunts, cousins, grand-parents. Somebody who made me a topic of their discussion once said, "Gene Yu has no chance of visiting America because he has no relatives there". True, I have no relatives there. I don't deny. But then, he is wrong. Why? Not all those who have relatives in U.S. were able to go there. I made an extensive research and found out at least one person who came to America without any relative. For your info, he is Christopher Columbus. He has no relative at all. Pinsan, Tiyohin, tiyahin, biyenan. Talagang wala. Peks man. Cross my heart. Believe me. Maniwala ka, walang kamag-anak ang kumag na ito ng pumunta ng Amerika. In fact, siya ang kuna-unahang dayuhan na nakarating ng Amerika aside from A.V. Kilala mo ba ito? Try to find out kung hindi pa. Only idiots will tell me only those with relatives can go to America . Tell that to the marines.

TNT “acronym for Tago Ng Tago. A tourist who has overstayed in the United States . He abused the generosity of the U.S. government for allowing him to stay for a definite period of time. Nasarapan yata. Ayaw ng umuwi. Like a mouse who plays when the cat is away, he roams like a lion and act like somebody when no immigration officer is around. Comes an immigration officer, he will hide even in the dirties sewer (imburnal) to get away from immigration authorities. Sometimes, he is called "Illegal or Panaguan. Many ex-employees of the national flag carrier belongs to this category.

Tourist “holders of tourist visa who were admitted and gained entry in the United States. Some of these tourists worked there as caregiver, PT and similar work, a violation in the issuance of the tourist visa. When they don't return to their home country and remained in the US after the validity of their legal stay, then they become a TNT. Years back, my Japanese look-alike friend called them TOURISAN, a corruption of the tagalong word- Tulisan. Some of these tourists eh nakituloy na, may mga nawala pang gamit sa tinuluyan ng nagsi-uwi. Totoo nga. Tourisan.

U.S.Visa “a document issued by the U.S. government through the U.S. embassy to selected applicants granting them permission to enter the U.S. mainland or any of its trust territories. Some people think having a US. Visa include the right todemand accommodation by acquaintances (kakilala), friends (kaibigan) once they are admitted at the port of entry. Wrong. The visa is used only for passage to gain entry, a limited stay for a specified period of time. It does not include the right or privilege to forced admission to any acquaintance or friend residing there. Otherwise, you become an "unwanted guest" or "gate crasher". Some would- be host suddenly leave town or change telephone numbers to avoid these tourisans or buwisitors.

Working Visa “one of the visa issued by the U.S. government where holders can legally work in the United States .