FATHER AND SON CONFLICT

Young children used to follow and grew obedient to their parent's desire. Without complain. They could easily understand what father and mother means just by mere stare at them. That's what we were when we were growing up. Nowadays it's different. Children are hard-headed. And they're not completely to blame. Parents play an important role in their children's development during their formative years. What these children learned during these years, were retained the most and the hardest to correct if not corrected early. Many parents think, the more hard-headed their children as youngsters, the tougher guys they become. Wittingly or unwittingly, they're making monster out of their children. Tolerant of their children's antics, they're so proud to display their children to relatives, friends and co-employees thinking their children's tantrums and mannerism will bring them a fortune if discovered by talent coordinators looking for would-be child actors and actresses. Seeing children like them in public places as malls, fast-foods chains, trains and even churches, I felt like whacking them if they were my children. I'm not saying my children were the finest in the land. Far from it. What I'm saying is, how did their parents guided them in growing up? Some dogs are more behave than these children. Are they willing to accept that some dogs have higher IQs than their children or they (parents) themselves? If they answered "yes" then - NO Problem, No questions. I raise my hands. Complete surrender. No argument. But if they want to argue, then all I ask is to bring their children and I'll bring a trained dog and let them perform their acts and compare who'll come out more behave, more obedient and disciplined. Many in the audience would say, "the dog is intelligent, obedient and disciplined". And their children? Probably Idiots or Morons. When my children were growing up, my wife used to pinched them in their thighs when they misbehaved. Once, my daughter broke a flower vase, my wife slapped her hands with a slipper. When my sons quarreled over their toys, she got a hammer and let them break their toys. When there's a visitor at home, no one is to cross where the visitor and either I or my wife were seated. When it's unavoidable, they have to say "Makikiraan Po" (Please excuse me, may I pass), when it's meal time, they have to stop whatever they're doing and everybody must be at the table. All of them must be at home by 6:00 in the evening. At age 6, they attended their kindergarten class and at 7, their primary grades. Here, my youngest was the most daring. One day, I was at home waiting for them for lunch. They arrived from school simultaneously since those dismissed from their classes earlier will have to wait for their elder siblings to be dismissed. Their mother was now serving food at the table and his three elder siblings were already seated waiting for us to join them. Before I could rise from my chair reading a newspaper, he approached me and asked if I could help him solve his problem. "Father, I have a problem. Can you please help me solve this? I replied, "Yes, why not? What's that?" He took out from his bag a book, allegedly it was a book but from the look of it, it's not thicker than a komiks magazine. So, it must not be a book. I took it from him and examined what it really is. Wow, the book has many pages missing. The front page was already page 37 and almost the same number of pages were missing at the back. I interrogated him what happened and if he received it in that condition. My boy says, it's already in that condition when distributed. And the teacher is demanding it be replaced with a new one otherwise their grading sheet (or was it card) will not be released. I asked him if he is telling the truth. He said "yes" and added, "If im not telling the truth, I might as well die now, or don't send me to school anymore. I took his word with a grain of salt. I wrote a letter addressed to his teacher and told him to give it to her. There's no problem if I have to replace it. I can donate even several copies of that book. What I don't like and won't tolerate is for some teachers to demand a replacement for a torn book more untidy than a dried fish wrapper and was already in that condition when it was distributed. It's a matter of principle. That simply cannot be. To put the komiks err book in a presentable condition, we took it to a shoemaker and have it sewed and covered with a new folder looking like a new scrap book. After our lunch, (my wife and 3 other children took their lunch ahead of us), I told them to go back to school for their afternoon session. I told my 3 children not to intercede in their youngest sibling's behalf. I want him to express himself. Otherwise, if things doesn't turn right, either me or my wife will be summoned to appear before her at school. What happened as I learned later, was that the repaired book was accepted and no replacement was demanded and needed after all. But, the teacher wants to talk to my wife in the coming PTA meeting. The meeting did take place. My wife was told by the teacher that all she wanted was for the pupil to take care of the book distributed to them. Her desire was simply to scare them to be careful in handling the book. I just smiled and just like my wife, said "Explanation Accepted". My other son, the elder one was already a college graduate and working when we have that serious argumentation and debate. He raised issues I can hardly defend since it's about my philosophy against his. My stand is... To each his own since we have different personalities. He asked me if I know where I'm destined after my physical body died and what remains is my spirit. Well, I said.. "Where else, if not in heaven". He simply laughed and said, How do I know I'm getting there and what assurance do I have to say so. I felt my ego was pricked and my pride was deflated. I felt so flat and so low. He added, "you haven't even read the bible in its entirety and yet you're saying you're heaven bound". Of course, I won't take it sitting down. "I never did anything wrong to my fellow man, never took advantage of anybody, never enrich myself at the expense of another, and tried my best to obey the ten commandments". He retorted, "Not all those who tried have succeeded; and breaking anyone of the ten commandments breaks them all. He's grinning bordering on sarcasm and I can't allow this to continue. And he delivers the final kill. You've read your book THE ART OF WAR, as if it were your bible, your gospel. I've seen you reading that book before I was in college and now I'm three years graduate and working you're still reading that book. "Will lessons learned in that book bring you to heaven"? he asked. " You're full of fears, hatred, competition, survival and killer instinct such that you've forgotten what's love and salvation is all about". Instinctively, I counter attacked. "Stop it. You don't know how I grew, how I lived and survived that's why you're saying like that, "If you only knew, you won't be saying all these things. I have survived life's many battles, many wars that's why I'm still alive. Otherwise, I'm long gone. Momentarily, he keep silent. Then he continued his attack, albeit with less firepower.. "Why don't you go with me and listen to our pastor's teachings. After hearing him, you might have a new outlook and view life from a different perspective". I remained silent. My mind is engaged. I'm in deep thought planning my counter offensive similar to what the Israelis did to the Arabs in the 1973 YOM KIPPUR WAR. I carefully choose the artilleries, the regrouping of my disorganized forces before conducting my make or break assault. Just like in his younger years, he knew when to contain my anger when I’m becoming red-hot and ready to erupt. "You're losing your cool, you're losing your composure", he said and approaching me kissing me in the forehead. Then he continued, "I only wanted you to be closer to god. Unlike what I often heard from you "KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE, YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER". Then he patted me in the back and left.