Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Rules of Engagement

Sooner or later, our children will leave us to live a life of their own. Just like us when we left our parents to build our own home and families, we’ll have to accept the fact that they belong to us only when they’re still dependent on our parental support and under our care. Once our sons begin seriously courting girls and our daughters entertain suitors in preparation for marriage, it becomes our business to remind them so they won’t be committed to married life unprepared. First, they must be through with their studies so they’ll have something to show when they apply for employment. Second, they must be gainfully employed so they’ll have a regular source of income to support their upcoming families. Better yet, the job must be stable so they’re secure in their employment. For our daughters, it’s better if they’re employed as well so they can help their husbands support the family. What if the husband lost his job, his employer closes shop or suddenly dies they must be able to raise their children decently even as a single parent. Although I was able to raise my family as the sole bread winner, things are different now compared to our time when we were raising our family. My wife stopped working after three years of marriage to be a full time mother. Nowadays, it’s preferable if both parents are working to be able to give their children the best education. If there’s only one bread winner, the partner must have at least a small business to augment the family’s income. After courting and finding the prospective lifetime partner, becoming steady sweethearts for a period of time to test if indeed they’re compatible and ready for married life… engagement follows. It is here where I made a set of “Rules of Engagement”. It worked for us then, it would work for them now. Trusted by my would be parents-in-law to strictly follow the code of good morals and proper decorum, we see to it that every time we went out to church and unescorted dates I fetched home my future wife at the expected time she must be home. Sometimes, her youngest sister goes along with us probably as an observer, how we behave and to find out how trustworthy we can be. Second, each partner must give each other space to explore their opportunities both in post-graduate education and better employment opportunities; e.g., overseas job that yields substantial monetary rewards or job that encourage excellence leading to promotions. One must support the other and not an obstacle to the partner’s ambition. Avoid professional jealousy that will pit one against the other in terms in achievement and monetary return. Many engaged couple and would be husband and wife are guilty of pre-marital sex. This I emphasized to my children both boys and girls to avoid this sin. It’s something sacred that must be enjoyed only after they were legally-wedded, and blessed. They have all the time in the world to enjoy the heavenly gift bestowed by the Holy Father. Not one among them protested. I hope and wished to God no one goes astray. Please bless them Lord.

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